


Murphy's Cops Law #20

by Python07



Series: Murphy's Cops Laws [17]
Category: R.I.P.D.
Genre: Comic Book Violence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3285455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Small fic based on Murphy's Cops Law #20: The longer you’ve been a cop, the shorter your flashlight and your temper gets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Murphy's Cops Law #20

He was still pretty new at this and a nine foot tall Deado with six ripped arms and mottled blue and green skin was still a lot to take in. One massive arm encircled his chest. Another was iron around his waist. His feet dangled from the ground. He took another punch to the face from a meaty fist. “Roy,” Nick hollered. “Roy!”

The Deado snarled, showing off a row of jagged, yellow teeth. He head butted Nick in the face. “Shut up!”

Nick wrinkled his nose. “Bad breath.”

The Deado snarled again. He squeezed Nick tightly. “R.I.P.D. scum.”

“Really. Try a tic tac.” Nick tried head butting the Deado back, but it didn’t faze the monster. “Roy! I could really use some help here!”

One of Roy’s arms appeared from the other side of the roof’s ledge. He hoisted himself over and onto the roof. He climbed to his feet and straightened his clothes. “I heard ya! There’s no need to shout!”

Nick rolled his eyes. “So sorry.”

The Deado growled at Roy over his shoulder. He squeezed Nick even tighter. “Roycephus Pulsifer. Long time no see.”

Roy adjusted his hat to the correct angle. “You know I hate running, Jerry.”

Nick’s face turned red. “Friend of yours,” he croaked.

Roy dusted himself off. “Yeah, he’s all bark and no bite. Believe me.”

Jerry turned his attention back to Nick. “He’s caught me five times.”

Nick smirked. “Five times. Wow.”

“You’ve been a bad boy, Jerry.” Roy effortlessly grabbed a large chunk of concrete left from the Deado’s rampage. He ran at them, jumped, and hit Jerry in the head. He hit him again twice in quick succession before Jerry finally dropped Nick. 

Nick took a couple steps back. “Five times. How does he keep escaping?”

Roy jabbed Jerry in the gut. “I don’t know. Personally, I think ol’ Satan gets tired of his whining.” 

“Why don’t you just dust his ass and send him into oblivion?”

Roy hit Jerry again. “I don’t know. It would be too easy.”

Jerry staggered and went down on one knee. “Come on, Roy,” he wheezed. “You know I’ll just escape again.”

Roy circled Jerry slowly. “Then I’ll just have to bring ya in again.” He jabbed Jerry in the side. “I wasn’t in the mood to run today.” 

Nick frowned as he watched Roy eye Jerry like a lion would its prey. “Roy.”

Roy stopped behind Jerry. “And I had to pull a Spiderman by climbing a building,” he growled and smashed Jerry over the head.

Jerry fell forward. Roy threw the concrete to the side and kicked Jerry in the side. “I’m gettin’ a little tired of this shit!”

Jerry tried to curl into a ball, but Roy hauled him to his feet. “I’ll go quietly,” he offered and got a punch to the face for his trouble.

Nick sat on the ledge while Roy wailed on Jerry. He finally sighed and checked his watch. “Roy.”

Roy stopped his fist half way to Jerry’s face. “What? It ain’t like I’m hurtin’ him.”

“It hurts,” Jerry wailed.

“Fine,” Roy scoffed. “I’m not causin’ ya any damage. You’re dead, dummy.”

“Let’s go.” Nick stepped up to them. He cuffed two of Jerry’s arms behind him. He leaned in close to Jerry’s earhole. “If you cause me any trouble, I’ll let Roy loose on ya again. Understood?”

Jerry’s head bobbed up and down. “Got it.” He glanced at Nick over his shoulder. “What is his problem today?”

Nick shrugged. “It’s been a rough day.” He nudged Jerry. “Let’s go.”

Jerry planted his feet and peered at Roy nervously. Roy rolled his eyes and stepped to the side.

Nick gave Jerry a shove. Jerry squeaked and started moving. “Okay. Okay.”

Nick smirked as they passed Roy. “Big bad old West lawman knows Spiderman?”

Roy smirked back. “I’m dead, not living under a rock.”


End file.
